Was That Film Really That Bad??? - Resident Evil: Retribution

This, gentle reader, is the fifth film in the seemingly never ending Resident Evil film series. If, by now, you thought you had seen it all, think again. Wor Paul is back in the writer's/director's/producer's role for another entry in the ever-shuffling zombie horror series. Despite reviewing like a five day old Eclair at your local Greggs, the series so far had made a total of $682m from a production spend of $183m, fair returns for the money and that was just the box office take. Success like that warranted a continuation, especially after the cliff-hanger at the end of the fourth film, and so Resident Evil: Retribution was released in 2012. The question, as always, was that film really that bad???

Before we go into the plot and the cast, let me talk to you about the opening of the film. It showcases both the best and worst of Wor Paul's film-making. Following on directly from the last entry, the opening credits show the battle on the Arcadia but in reverse slow motion. Credit where it's due, it's a rather nifty piece of cinema. Not only because you're getting it arse about face, but also because that slow motion can reveal lots of little tells and CGI whoopsies that could have derailed the effect Wor Paul was trying to achieve. To his, and the crews, credit, this actually works quite well. Yes, it's blatantly CGI heavy and that shows the weakness of the budget but as a way of starting the fifth film of the franchise, it certainly gets the audience's attention.

CGI? What CGI?

Now, onto the plot and the frankly bonkers story Wor Paul has put in place. We get to see "Alice" living a happy suburban life before zombies attack (we also see Olivera (Oded Fehr) and Ocampo (a jointly top-billed Michelle Rodriguez). We then cut to the real Alice waking up in an underground facility that is designed to simulate outbreaks of the T-virus. She meets up with Ada Wong (Li Bingbing) who is under orders by Wesker (a returning Shawn Roberts) to rescue Alice. It turns out that Wesker is a good guy now as the Red Queen controls Umbrella and Wesker realises the only one who can stop her is Alice. To aid them, he has sent a rescue squad (Leon S Kennedy - Johann Urb, Barry Burton - Kevin Durand and Luther West - Boris Kadjoe, back from the last movie). We also get a returning Sienna Guillory as Jill Valentine, as well as Collin Salmon as a soldier clone. The facility they are rescuing Alice from is attached to a former Soviet naval base in the Kamchatka Peninsular, where there is also a load of frozen military hardware.

This reminds me of the commute on the Coast Road

But that is not all. As the facility is designed to simulate outbreaks, there are various zones (think the Crystal Maze in the lifeless Ed Tudor-Pole years, just going through the motions) for New York, Berlin, Tokyo, Moscow and "Suburbia". Naturally, our heroes have to navigate through these to get to the sub pen and the lift (elevator) out of the place. Of course, in fitting with the naff action movie vibe, there is some bollocks about a countdown for, well, reasons. The survivors make it to the surface, there is a bit of fisty cuffs after the bad guys park a Typhoon-class sub in the way, and the eventually rescued ones make it to Wesker, who is holed up in the White House as the last bastion against the undead. At no point do they collect any gold tickets, so no-one gets a £100 weekend experience driving a clapped out Subaru in deepest darkest Surrey. This, gentle reader, is a crying shame and a missed opportunity for cross-franchise merchandising. 

Physics, we're heard of it.

Phew, that sounds like a lot but it is actually reasonably well explained throughout the film. I know, I am surprised myself but, and this is a big but, it allows Wor Paul to stage a farewell party to those who were there at the beginning. It's nice to see Michelle and Colin back, and Oded is his usual good value self. And, if I am honest, the plot shenanigans don't seem to grate that much for this film. That's not to say there aren't problems, questions or concerns. 

Hello, old friend...

As per all previous movies, the 3D maps are back again, though this time actually serving some kind of purpose, so there is that. Everyone seems to have the unlimited ammo cheat up and running again, with a ton of full-auto fire, few (if any) mag changes and not much effect for all that lead flying around. The CGI varies from merely ok to downright terrible - the car chase is particularly bad, though I do like how the Soviet Navy seemed to have multiple Slava class cruisers all in one place - it must have been the one CGI model they really put the time and effort in so there are tons of them (they only ever launched four - I know, nerd alert).

There are more Slava-class cruisers in this shot than were ever built.

To be fair, the creature CGI has improved slightly. The Licker does look a bit better, but the 3D (yep, filmed in that again) bullets are just dire. As for the city flooding scenes? They are beyond bad, making The Day After Tomorrow (2004) look almost photorealistic.

Big sub...

There is also a distinct lack of reality too. Now I know, these are "simulations" but can we at least have a constant passage of time? The bit where there are rocket grenades incoming and one of our heroes still has time to shoot through the floor is just silly. Then we have the Typhoon sub. When this surfaces, we are meant to believe that this is a monster of a sub, yet it looks like something you'd find on a children's playground, certainly from the size of it. It's just far too small, even compared to the CGI models seen earlier in the film.

...little sub, cardboard box.

Originality is still dead though. After copying the Crystal Maze, Wor Paul decides to ape Aliens as the annoying child is taken by a Licker - cue lots of angry Milla going all Ripley. Aliens did it better. Much better. 

Even the GI Joe movie did underwater scenes better... Sheesh!

Aircraft have their "unlimited fuel" cheat working too - the helicopter they escape from Kamchatka in is presumably the same one that makes it all the way to Washington DC. There again, we have the hold outs at the White House. That final zoom out shot is meant to impress but I couldn't help think "hold on, where is all this kit kept? What about fuel and ammo? It's been years since the T-virus was unleashed so how the hell are they still holding out?" Is it trying to ape the atmosphere from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and its Washington scenes? I can't help but think that Wor Paul keeps a notepad beside him at all times in order to record all the cool things he sees and wants to put in a film. 

The Final Bullshot.

This was the most expensive of the Res Evil series at $65m and whilst they have put that money on screen, it wasn't enough to match the vision of the director. That means it veers from looking ok to cheap and nasty no matter how stylish he intended it to be. The thing is, the actual core of the film isn't that bad and I quite liked it. I would say that it is probably my second best film of the series so far and a much better watch than films two to four. 

A decent, if overblown and brain dead, action film then, that carries the series forward to its inevitable, shambling end. One question remains though. Can it stick the landing with that cliffhanger ending or will it have all of the impact of a zombie who's fallen off a skyscraper? I think you can already guess the answer to that, but that's for another time.

Two new magazines: Sega Powered and Pixel Addict

A great start to the year as two more small-press magazines have made it into the hands of readers. The first is a Sega Powered which, as the title states, is about all things Sega and the second is a new publication from the publisher behind Amiga Addict, entitled Pixel Addict.

I backed Sega Powered on KickStarter and, as with most of my magazine posts, that is as far as my connection to the magazine goes. With Pixel Addict, I contributed an article to the magazine which appears in the first issue. Having said that, I paid for this issue myself and there has been no discussion with the editorial team about this post. 

With that out of the way, let's talk about Pixel Addict. The title focuses on classic computer users so fills a retro tech niche. There are 60 pages including the covers and it's very similar in its physical approach to Amiga Addict, which is no bad thing at all. As you can see from the contents page, there are a mix of articles, columns and the like that follow the news pages. Each is well written and they cover a huge range of subjects, from living a digital nomad lifestyle to the conflict between Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. CPC users get a lovely interview with YouTuber Xyphoe, the Centre for Computing History has a very informative two pager, the Osborne Effect gets an explanation (I've never seen an Osborne on the wild and  would love to have a play with one) and games are covered with pieces on post-cancellation Dreamcast releases (both hardware and software) and Command and Conquer. Teletext fans get a smart, potted history, the Dragon 32 gets a two pager and more mature Mac owners will appreciate the incompatibility article. As someone who uses AS400 (or IBM i as we're supposed to call it) daily, that was a fun read. The Acorn section (where my article fits in) has a couple of corkers too - The Lie That Was The...  ...BBC Micro?! could be a contentious one but I can totally see where the author is coming from, whilst the first part of the BBC story covers the 8-bit legend's beginnings well. The highlight, for me was the review of RISC OS Direct 5.26+ on the Raspberry Pi. Great score, and as an almost daily dabbler in the OS (see my review of my RISCOSbits kit here), it was nice to see a new user experience it. Hopefully that review will tempt others to give it a go.

I really enjoyed Pixel Addict and, I have to admit, had not subscribed when it was first announced. No, I just ordered the first issue. Having seen the finished mag, I have now subscribed for a six issue run. If the theme of the magazine appeals to you, give it a try, and I apologise now to you for having to see yet more of my scribblings. The next issue is due in March, and if you thought I could bore for hours on RISC OS, wait until you see the piece on Windows CE handhelds!

In all seriousness though, launching a new magazine is never an easy thing to do. Jonah and the team have done a terrific job and I do feel a sense of pride in having been involved in a small way. Check out Pixel Addict here, where you can buy single issues and subscriptions. You can also follow them on Twitter here. Single issues are £4.99 plus postage and subscriptions can be had for 6 and 12 month periods. If you do subscribe, be aware that the sub will start with the currently available issue, which I knowingly did so I would have two copies of issue 1, just for posterity.

And now, Sega Powered. This began life on KickStarter and, as noted above, I backed it for one issue, though subscriptions were available. I decided to shy away from that level of commitment but thought that if it turned out to be good, then a subscription might be worthwhile in the future. Well, that all important first issue landed on the mat a few days ago (alongside Pixel Addict, so a good news day as far as the post went), and I set about giving it a damn good read.

The first thing that strikes you is the quality of the stock. This is a hefty magazine even though it's only(!) 80 pages including the covers. This feels like a premium magazine and it's nice to see, even if it does bump the price up a bit. 

Contents wise, this is a packed first issue, with well-written pieces on Sonic at the tender age of 30 (including a great article by Retro Faith who selects a smorgasbord of Sonic levels for the ultimate gameplay mix), what Sega did next (after the Dreamcast's sad demise) and an interview with Roel Van Mastbergen (who, incidentally, features in Pixel Addict as well). There are regular columns and a packed review section, covering new and older titles that have graced a Sega machine or have been published by Sega. Of particular interest was the piece on Over Jump, a recreation of Sega Rally in the Unreal 5 engine. That is something I'm really looking forward to seeing in the wild. The Hardline section is also an excellent utility, listing essential titles for each of Sega's platforms alongside a rough price guide, very handy for the collectors out there. The make your own Chaos Emerald at the end of the magazine is the jewel in the crown that is issue one and a lovely nod to what games magazines of yesteryear would provide to their younger readership. I would apologise and get my coat for that one, but it's my blog so deal with it. Overall, the tone is light and there is a good dose of humour abound, especially in the reviews. 

Sega Powered is a magazine that I approached with some trepidation, as I am already a subscriber to Sega Mania and I did wonder if the current small-press market could sustain another publication. I need not have worried, as the magazines are a complimentary double act. Just as back in the day when print magazines were a big thing in the videogames market, they both scratch that Sega itch in different ways and styles, and both are deserving of any Sega fan's support. As with Pixel Addict, the team behind Sega Powered have done a brilliant job on getting their first issue out and the future looks bright.

You can find out more about SEGA Powered here, where single issues and subscriptions can be had. You can also follow them on Twitter here. Single issues start at £6 plus postage and the monthly subscription offer is a tad different from the usual, taking a pay as you go path, in the same vein as Netflix and Amazon Prime. I know I shall be buying issue 2 when it is released and signing up for a subscription. 

There you have it, two new print magazines that demonstrate once again that, for interests that seem too small for mainstream magazines, there is a market for the printed word. This pair now join the ranks of Sega Mania, Amiga Addict, Amiga Future, Archive Magazine and Switch Player as subscriptions I have made. That is not to dismiss SAM Revival (published as and when), [lock-on], E1M1 and Ninety Fresh (both Kickstarter funded) either. They don't offer subscriptions but I will be supporting each of those as and when new issues/editions are released (in fact, I have already paid for SAM Revival issue 26). It is heartening to see so many printed publications being released (and thrive). Long may it continue. 

Faster Than Light by Jamie Lendino - Book Review

After reading the excellent Breakout by Jamie Lendino, it did not take me long to order the spiritual follow up, Faster Than Light. With a title that references both a successful software developer for the ST and the perceived increase in performance compared to the then existing 8-bit machines, Faster Than Light charts the story of Atari's last great computer range, from both the personal point of view of the author and in the general sense of the 16-bit home computer market of the period.

The presentation in Faster Than Light differs from Breakout in that the author takes a more chronological path through the history of the ST, mixing in serious and leisure software in between the history, rather than having separate sections. It's also refreshing to see an international approach to the story. Indeed, by 1990, the ST was pretty much out of the US market but elsewhere, in particular Germany and the UK, the ST maintained a respectable market share right up until the end of Atari's computing endeavours.

I found this another well-written book by Lendino. The main body is well researched and extremely readable, and I found the later sections on emulators, mods and further resources of be very valuable. These also highlight the more international base of ST users, something that was missing from Breakout as that was quite a US focused tale.

One thing that is constant throughout the telling is the attitude of Atari to the computer business. As noted in several other volumes I have on the subject, Atari had a good history of products but a complete lack of ability in releasing them on time, marketing them or improving them in a timely manner. The same could be said about Commodore, but at least they didn't screw over dealers with the purchase of a network of stores. There again, Atari and Commodore were so locked up in the battle between themselves, they almost completely ignored the slow but steady rise of the x86 PC as the true winner of the home computer battle. Lendino captures a sense of loss and regret very well as an owner of the ST at the time. I recall similar feelings when Commodore shuffled of the mortal coil.

In a repeat of what I found with Breakout, Faster Than Light acts as a superb companion piece to another excellent tome, Zafinn Books' 50 Atari ST Games You Have To Play, which I reviewed here last January. This gives you a history of the ST platform, guides to emulators and a list of 50 games you need to experience on the format - but in full colour and with more screenshots. As with the Breakout/Atari - A Visual History combination, the sum of the pairing is greater than the individual parts. Yes, you can buy one and have an excellent resource on a classic home computer, but buy both and you have a more well-rounded and inclusive view of the ST. Checking Zafinn Book's website, a new edition of this book is due out later in 2022.

You can pick up a copy of Faster Than Light on Amazon here and follow the author on Twitter here. The author has two more books about classic videogaming, Attract Mode which focuses on the rise and fall of coin-ops, and Adventure, which details the story of the Atari 2600. I have no doubt that these will be joining my growing library as the year progresses and that there will be reviews as and when that happens. 

[lock-on] Journal 002 - Review

Volume 2 of [lock-on] arrived shortly before Christmas and provided some very entertaining reading over the festive period. The quality of the publication matched that of volume one and the sheer amount of stuff that arrived in the package was a delight to see. From the art cards to the poster, the card game to the stickers, all combine with the actual volume itself to provide a hefty package that was well worth the asking price.

Yes, there's a journal in there somewhere.

As you can see from the contents page below, there are a ton of articles to read and this latest volume reinforces the serious approach to the topic of videogames. Perhaps serious is not the right word... intellectual? Maybe. Let's say a combination of the two along with enjoyable, as whilst there are serious topics discussed here, there are also some playful articles as well. The variety of tone is spot on, at least in my humble opinion. 

What I especially liked was the personal approach taken by many of the writers. These pieces drill down to some of the core reasons why people play videogames - the warm comfort provided when loading up a long time favourite title or the joy of unwrapping (figuratively these days) a new release. Videogames can also be reminders of the bad times as well. I know I have relied upon gaming to get me through some difficult periods - going back into Mass Effect with the Legendary Edition last year was both a fun reminder of how great these games were, as well as a tremendously cathartic look back at a very different time in my life. [lock-on] volume 2 has given a lovely focus on that area of videogaming. 

I admit that I found my approach to volume 2 changing from that of the first. Whereas I read that one pretty much over the course of a day, this time I read a couple of pieces then put the tome down, taking time to consider what the author was saying and how they had approached their subject. This allowed me to savour the writing and the artwork, which once again excels. It is [lock-on]'s ability to get you to ponder on the author's point that makes it such a great journal to read and, in the future, to return to. As you can see, this volume has taken its rightful place next to volume one in the bookcase. 

The card game is also fun, just so you know. 

This hasn't ended up being the review I originally thought I'd write. The original plan was to cover all of the articles and give an in-depth look at this classy and highly worthwhile publication. Instead, I'll leave you with a final comment and some pictures. After only two volumes, [lock-on] has established itself as an essential entry on the reading lists of anyone interested in videogames. No matter your background to gaming, there has always been, and always be, a deeply meaningful cornucopia of topics to discuss and [lock-on] is a brilliant place to hear some of those conversations. The editorial team and the numerous contributors should be congratulated on a job very well done. Let's see what volume 3 brings!

You can find out more about [lock-on] here, and you can purchase pdf copies of the journal as well as any remaining physical copies here. You will also find links to their very active social media accounts which are also definitely worth a follow. 

The final post of the year.

The end of the year approaches and I thought it was about time for a short, final post for 2021. 

Some of these might (no promises) get a post next year

I set a goal of getting one post per week in 2021 and, helped by a crazy November, certainly hit that target, at least as an average. Did I post about everything I wanted to? No - no reviews of 6th Gen titles, nor much in the way of wargaming posts (aside from books) and the Was That Film Really That Bad series has stalled, although a few of those (including the last two of Wor Paul's Resident Evil movies) should make an appearance early next year. I would like to keep the same frequency of posting into 2022 but a planned return to office working (even if it is only two days a week) will take away 8-10 hours of spare time, so perhaps one per week might be pushing it, and there are other outlets for my writing that were a little neglected as 2021 progressed...

The most obvious being the reviews for RVG. That is something I intend to correct and at least get back into the habit of one review per month. There was also some additional writing which you should hopefully see in print next year and that is an avenue I'd like to continue down - but I'll let you know more as and when things happen.

I hope to have more posts about RISC OS (and possibly alternative computing in general), and (when they have confirmed the date), a trip down to the Wakefield Show. If that does happen, expect a show report with plenty of pictures. The same goes for wargames shows but, just like Wakefield, they are dependent on the Covid situation. Another wait and see for those.

In my first post of 2021, I said I was expecting several Kickstarter backed projects to be delivered within the following 12 months, some of which were delayed. Such is life but I am hopeful that these (and some newly backed projects) will make an appearance in 2022. There will also be more videogames and computing book reviews too as I work my way down the seemingly never-ending wishlist.

There's gaps for more books, and more shelves too!

In any case, I wish to say "Thank you" to each and every reader. This is a small blog, written just for my enjoyment, yet it is heartening to see there is an audience for my witterings. Thank you all very kindly. Have a great festive season and I shall be back to posting again in the new year.

Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of by Stuart Ashen - Book Review

Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of (hereby shortened to TOGYPNHO) by Stuart Ashen is a tour de force guide featuring nineteen home computer "gems" released between 1980 and 1995. Handily, this period covers pretty much the exact lifespan on the traditional "home computer" before the PC (and Mac to a degree) became the defacto standards. As such, you're treat to titles from the Atari 8-bit range to the Atari ST, via the Spectrum, CPC, Electron, MSX and many others along the way.

This period was very much the Wild West as far as software releases went, what with bedroom coders and publishers, and larger clearing houses that pumped out title after title at the tempting price of £1.99 (which was a hefty sum of pocket money back in the day, I can tell you!). There was also the lure of licensed titles - what more could be guaranteed than quality when you saw a copy of Highlander on the shelves - the film was great, so the game should be too, right? Ahem!

Ashen approaches the topic perfectly, from his understanding of the period (which you'll have to be of a certain age to fully get), to the desert dry humour throughout. Each entry is a mine of information, keenly written so that the humour cushions the reader against the horrors contained within. And yes, there are some horrors here. Maybe back then you could, if your parents were well off enough or you had a paper round, write off a £1.99 purchase, but when it came to dropping up to £25 on such trash, well, gentle reader, that was proper folding money! Hell, it still is today. The author even includes a game he wrote on the Amiga, a game that only ever saw the light of day as freeware. Kudos has to be given to him for bringing it to our attention.

There are screenshots galore (where sometimes you wish there weren't) and each title is shown a perverse level of care and, indeed, affection. What other reason could there be for writing so eloquently about them - apart from the obvious warning to others, naturally... But the enjoyment doesn't stop here. Mr Ashen has also approached others to share their most disappointing game purchases.

Violet Berlin, Jeff Minter, Paul Rose, Mentski, Alan Boiston and Steve Benway provide admissions of guilt, shame and sheer perversity to the worst games they have purchased, one of which I recall very well. Yes, I fell foul of SDI on the Amstrad CPC back in the day. And yes, it was utter shite. There is also an interview with Ste Pickford about the state of the industry at the time. This one is particularly interesting as it highlights the changes that affected game development as the industry moved from the familiar 8-bit ranges to the wonders of the 16-bit future. The general impression given of the 8-bit market very much gels with the theme in iDesine's A World in Pixels, a cracking volume on the 8-bit Acorn scene.

But wait! There's more! With 80's games comes 80's comedians...

You also get your own Spectrum game included with the book. Now, before you all head off to the loft to dig out that +2 you were given for Christmas in 1987 (when what you actually wanted was an ST or Amiga), it's just a listing and it really is a crap game. Whether you find it worth typing in those eleven lines of BASIC is up to you, but it's a canny touch to top off the book. Actually, no, the cherry on top is the index. Read it, you'll see.

TOGYPNHO is a lovely little piece of videogame nostalgia, of a time when it really was pot luck walking into a games shop/supermarket/newsagents and picking up a cassette case with even the most decent of artwork - for as we all know from that time, the artwork (and screenshots on the back of the inlay) rarely gave you an accurate impression of the game itself. This fantastic little book deserves to be in your videogame tome collection and there is a follow up volume too, Attack of the Flickering Skeletons, that I'll pick up as and when, as I really enjoyed this volume. 

I should note that this was another book funded by supporters using Unbound. It really is a handy way of getting smaller, niche interest books published. 

You can buy this and the follow up on Amazon here, follow the author on Twitter here and subscribe to his YouTube channel here, which is also a hoot.

Breakout by Jamie Lendino - Book Review

Over the last couple of years, I have found a new appreciation for all things Atari - from the original VCS/2600 days, through to the re-born Atari's 16 and 32-bit computers, and even the much-maligned but ever so tempting Jaguar. In that time, I have picked up some very good games (via the Evercade handheld) and books (We Love Atari, Atari - a Visual History, 50 Atari ST Games You Have To Play) on the subject. But I wanted more. Tomes with different approaches, styles and yes, obviously, content. After finishing Greyfox Book's Visual History, I set out to locate other sources and very quickly found this: Breakout - How Atari 8-bit Computers Defined A Generation by Jamie Lendino.

This is, in one sense, a very personal tale as the author grew up with Atari 8-bit computers, ran a bulletin board on them and rediscovered the joys of owning an Atari 8-bit by rebuilding some of his collection in recent years. That personal connection pervades Breakout and reinforces the enthusiasm with which the author speaks of Atari. It's that enthusiasm which carries you along as you read through the three sections of this well-written tome. 

The first gives you the author's background and his formative years with Atari's 8-bit range, an in-depth tour of the 8-bit range's history, the high points and the lows (what was it with computer company management in the 1980's? Bill Herd's excellent Back into the Storm describes similar ineptitude at Commodore), as well as the kit that you could buy at the time. 

That fold in the back cover was caused by an unexpected feline intervention.

The core of the book details the games, with over one hundred titles covered in a section that takes up well over a third of the book. Here, you will find seminal arcade conversions, original titles, unreleased prototypes and maybe some games that history has mostly forgotten for the right reasons. These contain lovely snippets of info and touch on some of the weirder titles. There are screenshots (sadly not in colour) but they are clear enough, as are the images and photographs dotted around the book.

The final section deals with the modern (as of 2017) approach to Atari's 8-bit wonders. From emulation, collecting, modding (love the laptop, by the way) to the alive and kicking Atari community, you'll find a lot of still relevant information here if you fancy taking the plunge into the format. You'll also find a handy list of pertinent publications, and I will be tracking down copies of the ones I don't already own.

Breakout is a wonderful history of the Atari 8-bit range of machines, from both the author's perspective and its place in the US market. On it's own, it is a great book but, and hear me out, it is even better when read alongside Atari - a Visual History. Why? Because that similarly excellent volume is in colour and, where they crossover, you have a wonderful brace of resources for many Atari 8-bit titles. Inadvertently, these are superb companion pieces. 

You can purchase Breakout from Amazon, either as a paperback or a Kindle e-book. You can follow the author on Twitter, where you can find out more about his writing (he has a long career in tech writing). You can also find out about his other books here, which I intend to purchase in the new year. Expect reviews as and when. And, if you like the idea of having two great books on the Atari's 8-bit range, you can find out more about Greyfox Books here.