Friday, 29 July 2022
The PlayStation Anthology by Geeks-Line - Book Review
Saturday, 23 July 2022
Computer Shopper Issue 4 - A blast from the past.
Who, in June 1988, could fail to be enticed by such a publication? |
There's not much colour, but look! PREMIER DISKETTES!!! |
I'd buy a PC from him, just so he wouldn't kill me Patrick Bateman-style... |
And what a contents page it is too! |
It's a light read, really... |
There's pages of these listings. |
One of the many adverts - I hope you like Amstrads... |
Now this ad really does take me back! |
Friday, 15 July 2022
Was That Film Really That Bad??? - Death Train (1993)
Did you know there was a Yorkshire International Film company? No? Me neither. But there was, and before you go searching for those elusive cinematic outings of Last of the Summer Wine or Emmerdale Farm (they doesn't exist!), there was a film that YIF was involved in that, whilst not filmed in Yorkshire, seemed to have a budget similar to the average episode of those TV shows. From such humble origins, a question must be asked of Death Train. Was that film really that bad???
Alistair MacLean's Death Train, to give this film its full title - although it was also called Detonator in the US - is a 1993 action thriller starring a pre-Bond Pierce Brosnan, flexing his acting and action muscles post-Remington Steele. He plays Mike Graham, a retired "business associate" of Malcolm Philpot (Sir Patrick Stewart, taking a break from the Enterprise D), head of UNACO.
T' Yarkshire! |
UNACO (United Nations Anti-Crime Organisation) may seem familiar to some. It was the organisation used in a series of books headlining Alistair MacLean but written by others using his notes. The first, Hostage Tower, was turned into a TV movie for CBS way back in 1980 starring Keir Dullea, Peter Fonda, Douglas Fairbanks Jnr, Maud Adams, Britt Ekland and Billy Dee Williams. It's not a bad made-for-television movie and certainly looks the part considering it was shot entirely on location in Paris. Alongside Hostage Tower and Death Train, the only other UNACO novel to hit the screen was Night Watch (also known as Detonator II: Night Watch) in 1995, Brosnan's final film before Goldeneye. The rest, as they say, is history.
Evil Thomas is going to screw up Sodor. |
Back to Death Train, and the plot is pretty simple. Disgruntled Russian General Konstantin Benin (Sir Christopher Lee) has enlisted the help of a German physicist to create a nuclear bomb that, in a completely off the wall way, will allow the Soviet Union to regain its rightful place as a world superpower... Yeah, I know, but it's a TV movie, what do you expect? To do this, he's put said bomb on a train along with a ton of mercenaries led by right wing conspiracy nut Alex Tierney (Ted Levine - he of doggies, baskets, aggressive skin care routines, and constant asking if you'd make the beasts with two backs with him...). To stop said crackerjacks, Philpott enlists Graham, Sabrina Carver (Alexandra Paul) and C.W. Whitlock (Clarke Peters), plus a fairly anonymous cast of European associates to add a bit of flavour. These generic characters are also used to introduce a level of treachery because, you know, dodgy stereotypes must be observed.
Someone is going to need some talcum powder... and Lynx Africa! |
If you've ever seen this movie, you'll already know what I am going to start off with, and yes, it's the budget. This film was shot on a shoestring in Slovenia and Croatia during 1992 and it shows. They do the best they can, but once you've seen Carver shoot a "grenade launcher" or, even better, that helicopter rocket attack, you'll know you have a slice of pure cinematic Wensleydale.
Rockets galore! Yet not a single one on target. |
That is not to say that there isn't some enjoyment to be had from watching this and it is certainly more than just a curio for those wanting to see pre-Bond Brosnan - even if he still looks far too young in this role and his "accent" wanders more haphazardly than any of those rockets!
For all you Amiga fans out there: Scala! |
Arguably the biggest mis-steps are the direction and the script. The character interactions, at least as far as the UNACO team go, fall flat most of the time. Where there should be camaraderie, there is awkwardness. Where there should be banter, it sounds more like they're talking to their creepy uncle. Brosnan isn't helped by coming across as a sexist moron, whilst Alexandra Paul lacks the oomph to make the retorts hit back in any meaningful way. Aficionados of action movies of the 70's to 90's will recognise the tropes from the start but by this point, said tropes were wearing more than a little thin. As for the scheme to transport a bomb across most of Europe into the Middle East, well, it's different.
Never look the Headmaster in the eyes! Especially when he's cos-playing! |
Minor characters suffer too - the traitor sub-plot is obvious a mile away, C.W. is practically a functioning alcoholic given the amount he drinks from that hip flask, and Sir Pat Stew does his best with almost nothing at all. Those of you who remember the Demon Headmaster TV show of the early 90's will rejoice to see Terrence Hardiman playing a German Police commander, whilst kudos should always be given to Sir Christopher Lee, whose ability to "get by" in Russian is demonstrated well here, although the region 2 DVD lacks subtitles so I have no idea what he was actually saying. Levine gives good value as the on-train bad guy, even if his trigger technique is... concerning.
Picard found the new holo-novel quite disappointing. |
It doesn't help that whoever trained the actors in firearms handling really wanted to use the Dummies Guide to Action Films, rather than, you know, have them even pretend to use the sights on the kit. The hospital fight scene is diabolically bad, and the lack of budget makes Lee's scenes look as if they were filmed guerrilla style in Zagreb.
More wacky rocket action! |
Comment must also be made about the music. It's fits like a glove at times, but at others, it jars terribly, like lift muzak in a gunfight. Pacing is something else, and the relatively exciting helicopter attack and tunnel gun fight give way to a denouement that a) feels like it was written on the back of an envelope, and b) a whip round of the cast and crew's loose change was used to complete filming.
Mike Graham will return... |
Yet, for all of that, Death Train is a decent Friday night movie, either as a post-pub time filler or something to occupy you whilst you polish off that second bottle of wine, 'cos you'll need the mild anaesthetic of booze to see you through this. It has numerous flaws and plot holes - landing the chopper right in front of the news crew, that tease about a second bomb - but the principals do put the effort in (excepting Brosnan's dialect coach... if he had one). You could do far worse and I hope one day to pick up Night Watch as well but that thing is rarer than rocking horse poop. If I do, you can bet there will be a post about that one too, even if only for Brosnan's facial hair...
Sunday, 10 July 2022
The SNES Anthology by Geeks-Line - Book Review
Ah, the SNES (or Super Famicom depending upon where you live), a classic gaming machine that not only cemented the Big N's place in gaming history after the 8-bit NES (or Famicom), but which also saw some of the most celebrated titles ever to grace a home console. It saw a huge number of titles in general which makes this Gold Edition of the SNES Anthology a very chonky read. And when I say chonky, I mean chonky!
Coming in at over five hundred pages(!), it's larger than almost every other one of Geeks Lines' publications aside from the NES Anthology. There is the now expected level of quality with the book, in full colour with excellent stock used to give the many screenshots, artwork and photographs the treatment they deserve.
The Nintendo and SNES stories take up the first fifty or so pages, before we get to the hardware section and, much like the PC Engine volume, the technical detail of the SNES' hardware capabilities is impressively portrayed here. From comparisons with its competition to full on explanations as to how the graphics and sound ships work, there is much here that, whilst it may not impress the average gamer, does more than enough for fans of console hardware. Throughout, the explanations are clear and very straight forward, and the quality of the translation is very high.
Accessories get thirty five-ish pages, including the intriguing Satellaview system that never made it outside of Japan. Reading about such amazing things in magazines like Computer and Videogames made me green with envy back in the day, so reading about it now after thirty years was both enlightening and informative.
It's the games, though, that are the centre of attention for this Gold Edition, and this was where the alphabetically listed range takes up three hundred and fifty pages. As with other volumes, each titles gets a list of release details, box art and at least one screenshot. After some brief comments, each is scored out of five stars and whilst many get just 1/8 of a page, some of the bigger and well-known titles get the luxury of a full page! Flicking through the directory, it is a handy reminder (also noted in Chris Scullion's excellent SNES Encyclopedia), of just how many Super Nintendo games started with the word Super. There are a lot.
This is another superb anthology from Geeks-Line and is not only a cracking reference for collectors but also a perfect one stop read for anyone with an interest in the SNES, either regarding the games or the hardware. It also makes an excellent companion to Chris Scullion's SNES Encyclopedia (reviewed here). You can order the SNES Anthology directly from Geeks Line here, and Mr Scullion's book here.
Saturday, 2 July 2022
The GameCube Anthology from Geeks-Line - Book Review
Another one of the batch from Geeks-Line Books received at the beginning of the year, the GameCube Anthology was originally published in 2018 and, as you can tell from the title, focuses on all things GameCube. Dismissed by many at the time as a children's machine, Nintendo's follow up to the N64 struggled against the might of Sony and from Microsoft's first gaming behemoth (and that was a beast of a console!), but the GameCube managed to carve out a relatively small niche for Nintendo as its first disc-based console and, more importantly, paved the way for the Wii. But what about this Anthology?
Holding this volume in your hand, you can tell straight away that this is up to Geeks-Line's usual standards. Hefty, with quality stock that makes screenshots and artwork jump off the the pages, this is a stylish and well-designed book.
Contents-wise, the first fifty pages tell the story of the console's creation and time on the market. I know I was quite scathing about the translation work on the PC Engine volume but here it's pretty much spot on. Detouring slightly I need to reiterate that the information and the effort put into the PC Engine volume was immense and it is still an essential purchase for fans of NEC's 8-bit machine.
The hardware section details the different models of the GameCube, the retail packages that made it to the shops, the Triforce arcade board, the optical discs, game cases, controllers and other accessories. From page 84 though, this is where we get to the core of the book: the games.
Nearly 240-pages are set aside to cover each title released for the GameCube. These are arranged alphabetically and vary from a sixth of a page up to two pages for the big titles. Each entry gets at least one gameplay screenshot, box art and release details, alongside a rating out of five stars and a write up. I can't fault the presentation or the content, except for one title. Die Hard: Vendetta gets two stars? No, just no. One star and that's being generous. You are welcome to disagree, but you'd still be wrong :-)
Once the games directory is out of the way, ten pages are given over the cancelled titles that never saw the light of day, before ending with collector's editions, bundles and a tick-box guide to the games featured in the main section in case you feel like marking off each game as you add it to your collection.
This is another classy release from Geeks-Line and an essential buy if you're a fan of the GameCube. As with the other titles from the publisher, a ton of work has gone into this volume and all concerned should be congratulated on bringing the story of the machine to modern day readers, as well as providing a great resource for collectors and fans alike. The publisher's site is here, where you can check out the full range of their Anthologies. At the time of this post, the GameCube Anthology is not in stock but sign up for notifications if you can. You might be able to find it at other online retailers though.